By Joshua and Zechariah
Bless Those Who Curse You
We have decided to make a joint post because God has been working in both of our lives and focusing us on the importance of the spiritual truth behind blessing our enemies rather than harboring bitterness, resentment and unforgiveness. We hope that those of you who have been in similar situuations as us will find value in this spiritual principle of blessing the ones who have caused you pain.
As we continue to work through the hurt and anger our abusers have caused, we have come to a place where we no longer simply view our abusers as our abusers, but rather God has shown us that they are victims as well. Victims in a sense that they have believed the lie that power is obtained through various forms of control such as in the physical, sexual or emotional abuse of others. In their mindset, gaining control over another person means that they themselves are free from control– and staying in control will relieve them of their feelings of powerlessness. But this lie is actually causing and fueling their misery, holding them in slavery.
Slavery
Jesus answered them, “Most assuredly, I say to you, whoever commits sin is a slave of sin.” (John 8:34 NKJV)
Slavery leading to death
Don’t you realize that you become the slave of whatever you choose to obey? You can be a slave to sin, which leads to death, or you can choose to obey God, which leads to righteous living. (Romans 6:16 NLT)
As hard as it may be to fathom, Jesus loves our abusers just as much as He loves us. Jesus desires to set them free from their slavery to sin and the bondage Satan has them in. Jesus has shown us that we should not let our emotions control our mindset, rather we need to take a more mature perspective by praying for our abusers and their deliverance from the web of lies that they live under and the misery that drives them to hurt others.
To imagine the depraved state of mind someone must be in to hurt innocent and helpless children in an effort to gain “power” gives us a better understanding of our abusers and helps us pray for them more effectively.
Bless those who curse you
But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. (Matthew 5:44, 45)
If this message has resonated with you, and you feel that the Holy Spirit is prompting you to pray for your “enemies” please join both of us in the following prayer:
Jesus,
We pray for the people that have hurt us so deeply. We ask that you would break through the lies that they believe about who You are and show them that even in the midst of their chaos, You love and care for them, and desire for them to experience the freedom and peace that they have never known. We know that they too have been abused and that as wrong as it is, they are only doing to others what has been done to them. Show them that they do not have to continue to find release by hurting others, as they have been hurt. We pray that you would break through the darkness and despair that they live in and touch them with your love in a way that they can understand. We ask that in your sovereignty, Jesus, you would open their eyes to Satan’s true intentions with their lives, and show them yours. In Jesus name, amen.
Zechariah and Joshua Manning
By Joshua
Strength from God
One passage of scripture that God has continually brought to my attention through numerous people, and continues to reveal to me, is 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10:
“And He said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness. Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake, For when I am weak, then I am strong”.
I can relate to this passage Paul wrote because in my life’s experiences, when I have encountered very troubling times, which have physically and emotionally drained me, I found myself calling upon Jesus for strength. At which point I felt the Holy Spirit provide me with the necessary strength to press forward and not give up.
Looking back over the last two years when my brother and I were in the process of attaining restraining orders against our former family members who abused us, my brother and I observed our abusers, who lived an hour and a half away, in our neighborhood of residence on numerous occasions. Their goal was to intimidate and use their appearance to threaten us to keep us from attending the trial and testifying in open court about the violence and abuse we had currently lived under. However, both my brother and I, pushed through all of the intimidation and numerous threats by our abusers and testified under oath about the abuse we had sustained growing up, as our abusers sat and listened.
Receiving the 10 month restraining order by the judge was a victory that allowed me to know that I could be my own individual and no longer live as a controlled slave again. During this time of my life, my prayer was “Jesus, I am giving this situation over to you, I ask that your will would be done in this situation and I ask that you would provide me with the necessary strength to press forward and not give up.”
Jesus used this long and difficult time to teach me patience and to trust in Him, which ultimately resulted in the tremendous growth of my faith in Him. For anyone who is currently facing any sort of difficult and/or nearly impossible circumstance, never give up and continue to place your trust in Jesus Christ and allow Him to work in your situation.
By Zechariah
The Building of Strongholds…
I have lived in a constant state of fear and hopelessness for all my life. My earliest memories are not those of a happy childhood, where many remember their parents doting on them with love and affection, building a stable foundation of love, safety and trust. Those years of my life I remember spending in agony. As I would cry myself to sleep at night, I would look up to God with helplessness and ask Him why? Why was I put in this family where everyone around me was hurting me so badly? Why did certain family members find pleasure in hurting me and making me have sex with them? Why did I have to have sex with strange men who would come over to the house? Why was I beaten and forced to hurt other children who were brought over? Why was all of this happening, and why me?
The amount and degree of abuse I have sustained during my life is hard to put into words. If I were to accurately account the physical, psychological, emotional and sexually-perverse nature of my abuse, most would either choose to not believe me, or think that I was sick to even suggest that family members could be so terrible to their own child. My abusers knew this to be true, and combined with my fear of what I was told would happen to me if I were to ever tell anyone, I was forced to deal with the pain and confusion of my abuse all alone.
Even though certain family members were hurting me, I still wanted desperately to please them and receive the acceptance and admiration I wanted so badly. As my nightmare continued, day after day, year after year with no end and no escape I remember finally deciding that love was a lie and even if it did exist, I was obviously un-worthy of it.
As my abusers continued to tell me that I deserved what was happening to me and told me that God could never forgive me for the things they were forcing me to do to others, the weight of guilt, shame and condemnation became suffocating. By my teenage years I absolutely hated myself. I was angry, bitter and hardened– angry at God for putting me in this family and for not hearing my cries for help as a child– angry at myself for deserving such treatment. Self-pity became my only source of comfort. By this time in my life, I was living in complete and total defeat. I had accepted and believed what my abusers had told me all my life– I was nothing but a horrible person, who’s only purpose in life was to be controlled and used by others and to hurt other people. As sick as it was, this became my identity.
I am now in the process of overcoming the pain and mental torment from that nightmare. This process largely includes me continually making a conscious effort to stop thinking of myself as a person in bondage, and to begin thinking as a person who has overcome his abuse and is on the road to becoming all that Jesus created me to be. A scripture that encouraged me to do this is Romans 12:2 which says, “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”
Now, after ten months of restraining orders, where my brother Joshua and I testified in open court about the abuse we sustained and the current threats to our lives by our abusers, I am finally away from my now ex-family and part of a new family, where I and my brother have been adopted. I will never forget the moment on November 23, 2008, when the judge gave me my new last name– “Manning.” I realized at that moment, that my nightmare of abuse had ended and that Jesus Christ had given me a new life, a new name and most of all a new family that treats me as a human being with my own free will.
I was recently assaulted by one of my abusers as I was getting out of my car one night. He threatened me and told me that I’d better keep quiet about the abuse, or “the secrets” as they call them, or he would kill me. His goal was to cause me to shrink back in fear and return to all the strongholds (mindsets and attitudes) that he knows are there due to his abuse. I have a choice to believe him and those strongholds or to choose to believe Jesus Christ. I am going to choose to believe Jesus Christ.
The road to recovery from abuse like mine is long and arduous. It takes dedication and discipline in God’s word. Whenever you make a decision to undo something the enemy has gone through great lengths to establish in your life, especially strongholds in your mind, you will meet much adversity. During those times of adversity, you may be tempted to give up, saying, “things will never change.” It is times like these that we need to realize that we are actually headed in the right direction. The enemy will do whatever he can to make us believe that our situation is hopeless and unchangeable. If that means sending one of our abusers to try and remind us of our past bondage, he will. As hard as it may be at the time, the correct response needs to be to continue trudging ahead in faith despite whatever emotions or feelings may be triggered by the attack. In my case, my abuser wanted me to remember all the times he controlled and dominated me when I was young and could do nothing about it. He is wanting me to react and return to those thought patterns and attitudes that were built during my many years of abuse. It is not wrong to feel emotions that are triggered. It is wrong, however to dwell on them and believe that nothing has changed just because I felt them and was tempted to shrink back.
So no matter what your circumstance may be, for those of you who can identify with what I am saying, I want to share with you scriptures that will help encourage you as you battle hopelessness in the face of renewing your mind from mindsets and attitudes due to past abuse.
- For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:4-5)
- So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; it shall not return to Me void, but it shall accomplish what I please, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it. (Isaiah 55:11)
- And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it. (John 1:5)
- And let us not grow weary and faint while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. (Galatians 6:9)
Dwelling on scriptures like these will get us back on track and thinking properly, even if emotions are still there, nagging us to give into them.
If we can figuratively think of a stronghold as a stone wall that separates us from the freedom to think as Jesus thinks, to see people the way Jesus does, and to see ourselves the way Jesus does, it isn’t hard to understand why the devil goes through so much effort to establish them in our minds. Jeremiah 23:29 says, “Is not My word like a fire?” says the LORD, And like a hammer that breaks the rock in pieces?” If walls are made of rocks and the Word of God is like a hammer, we have to be prepared to hammer away at these strongholds for a while before they fall. Even if it takes years, God’s Word says that the rocks will be broken into pieces and the walls will fall. Don’t give into hopelessness, keep hammering away in confidence.
By Joshua
Joshua’s Harbor-Introduction
Hello everyone! The purpose of my blog is to create a safe place for hurt and abused teens to be able to talk and present questions regarding their lives.
I have experienced severe physical, sexual and emotional trauma growing up, and so I understand how it feels to be violated in such a despicable way that causes you to feel dirty, ashamed, and to feel as if no one would understand and/or believe you if you disclosed any information regarding the abuse you sustained by unlikely offenders such as, family members, and “family friends”.
Joshua’s Bio -About Me
My name is now Joshua Manning and about to turn 20 years old. I am currently a full-time college student, majoring in Business Administration. I also coordinate an outreach program called Joshua’s Disciples (For more information, go to LHWE homepage and click on the link titled “About us”).
Ever sense I was a child, I was constantly being sexually and physically abused by family members and “family friends.” My offenders threatened that if I were to ever tell anyone of the abuse, I would regret it with my life, as well as the life of my younger sister and/or my older brother. Having been young and incredibly scared, and full of guilt and shame, I believed them and never told a soul. In an attempt to continue living life as normally as I knew how, I accumulated my own friends, some who had the same experiences that I did, played sports, and went to school; unfortunately, nothing could take away from the immense pain and anguish I felt deep down inside.
Once I reached the age of 18 during my senior year of high school, I knew I could legally leave my family and not be obligated by law to return to them if they demanded it. Events unfolded, which forced me to relocate to live with my newly adopted parents; my dad, Matthew and my mom, Christa.
After having lived through a hellish environment, began a process of healing and a new healthy life through Jesus, I have acquired a deep passionate desire to help others who have been deeply hurt and abused and/or currently living in an abusive environment. There is a way out, and that way is through Jesus Christ. If my life experience has spoken to you and you wish to share your story on this blog, I would love to hear from you and stand with you as you let your voice be heard.
