Lest God’s Anger be Aroused

By Pastor Matthew

LEST HIS ANGER IS AROUSED

Deuteronomy 11:17-25

Lest the Lord’s anger be aroused against you, and He shut up the heavens so that there be no rain, and the land yield no produce, and you perish quickly from the good land which the Lord is giving you.   “Therefore you shall lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, and bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.   You shall teach them to your children, speaking of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.  And you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates,  that your days and the days of your children may be multiplied in the land of which the Lord swore to your fathers to give them, like the days of the heavens above the earth.   For if  you carefully keep all these commandments which I command you to do-to love the Lord your God, to walk in all His ways, and to hold fast to Him- then the Lord will drive out all these nations from before you, and you will dispossess greater and mightier nations than yourselves.  Every place on which the sole of your foot treads shall be yours: from the wilderness and Lebanon, from the river, the River Euphrates, even to the Western Sea, shall be your territory.   No man shall be able to stand against you; the Lord your God will put the dread of you and the fear of you upon all the land where you tread, just as He has said to you.

When reading this Scripture I find a very sobering truth.  If we do not walk in obedience to God in every area of our life, the public as well as private, the blessings can and will be shut off.  This verse states that fruit will perish quickly from the good land that He intends for us.  However, if we walk in obedience God promises to drive out all of our enemies, and where we place the soles of our feet will become ours for the taking.

Over the last 18 months I have been under extreme pressure.  My wife has suffered for the last 3 years with Rheumatoid Arthritis and I have found myself having to do more to care for her as well as care for our two biological sons.  Our family has had to deal with several legal challenges regarding restraining orders against the biological parents of our Adopted children.  And to top this off our two adopted sons and myself were shot at and almost killed while driving in our car in December.   Finally, there have been the continued challenges in running a non-profit organization and being involved in my Masters Degree Program.  Dealing with all the above mentioned issues, brought me to a place where I noticed that I was coming very close to burnout. 

It amazes me that when under stressful conditions how the first area that begins to come under fire is the area of character and integrity.  I wish that I could say that I passed this test with flying colors.  However, that is not the case.  While the stress level climbed so did my temper and emotions.  Needless to say this has been a very difficult 18 months of my life.  A few nights ago a change took place in my life.  God brought me to a place of conviction while attending two seminars at the King’s College and Seminary last week.

 I realized that the path that I have been walking down the last year or so was one made by me and not Jesus.  Yes, my public life was still one that portrayed holiness and righteousness, however when it came to my private life, I was not hitting the mark that I should have been as a husband, father, and mentor to many.  I repented to my family and close friends for my attitude and behavior over the last 18 months.  I have asked each of them to help me over the next several months as I take time off to reflect and heal and to stand with me and my family as we get back on track.

I am saying all this in this public post, because, I want to live a life that is transparent to all that know me publically as well as privately, those who  support our ministry financially and those who pray for my family and ministry on a regular basis.  I will be taking the next 3 months to spend quality time with my immediate family and repair our relationship.  During this time, God has promised me that the fruit that was beginning to die will once again begin to blossom and the land what was beginning to become barren will once again begin to yield fruit.

I assure each of you that though many would not think that what has been going on in my life constitutes these drastic measures, I believe that they do.  LightHouse World Evangelism will continue its course; however my schedule for the next three months has been put on hold.  I will once again begin my ministry activities as of June 15, 2009.  Thank you for your prayers as I now join my family and reconnect.  My prayer is that Jesus will refresh me and replace my wineskin with a new one.

I will continue to blog as I feel the need, and keep you posted on my recovery from the edge of burnout.  I love you all, and I am so thankful for the friends and partners that Christa and I have in all of you.

Father, I repent for my attitudes and behavior that have been contrary to your word.  I repent of the way I have treated others and the lack of respect I have shown my family.  This is not who you desire me to be, nor is it who I want to be.  Jesus I ask that you will heal my emotions and make me once again into a loving servant you desire me to be.

Pastor Matthew